Support. Educate. Advocate.

Never Give Up

2010-07-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

No matter what is going on... Never give up.
Develope the heart - be compassionate to everyone- work in peace.
Never give up no matter what is happening around you.

- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Check out our FACEBOOK page

Prop 8 Update: How the Christian Legal Society is Strengthening Our Case!

2010-07-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

Like most colleges and universities, Hastings College of the Law (Hastings), a college within the California public school system, has a specific program that it uses to officially recognize student clubs. Once a group is part of Hastings’ “Registered Student Organization” (RSO) program, it receives several benefits including use of school facilities, channels of communication, and funds.

In exchange for this official status, clubs must comply with Hastings’ nondiscrimination policy, which states that “RSOs much allow any student to participate, become a member, or seek leadership positions, regardless of her status or beliefs” (www.law.cornell.edu).

At the start of the 2004-05 academic year, a previously existing Christian RSO decided to affiliate with the Christian Legal Society (CLS), a national Christian association which charters chapters at many law schools throughout the country. One of the requirements to be an active member of CLS is to sign a “Statement of Faith” which, among other things, states a belief that sexual activity should not occur outside of a marriage between a man and a woman. The “Statement” also implies the exclusion of anyone who engages in “unrepentant homosexual conduct” and anyone whose religious convictions are different from those in the “Statement.”

Hastings rejected CLS’s application for RSO status on the grounds that the group’s bylaws knowingly excluded students based on religion and sexual orientation.

CLS sued the school unsuccessfully. The Supreme Court ruled that Hastings’ conditions for their RSO program was nondiscriminatory and reasonable; therefore, the school had every right to place these conditions on the use of their facilities, funds, and logo (www.law.cornell.edu).

Now, how on earth does this all tie-in to the prop 8 trial?

One of the main arguments in the prop 8 case is whether or not LGBT people are a protected class under the constitution, or that, as lawyers supporting prop 8 put it, “homosexuality is not an immutable characteristic; it is behavioral.”

According to one of CLS’s main arguments, they were not discriminating against homosexuals as such, but rather “choose not to accept members who refuse to acknowledge that homosexual conduct is wrong” (firstamendmentcenter.org)

In other words, they were separating behavior from being. Fortunately, the U.S. Supreme Court does not agree with their argument.

According to Theodore Boutrous Jr., counsel to those against prop 8, sexual orientation is not merely behavioral, but LGBT folks are an identifiable class, and as such, are protected under the constitution. This view is clearly stated in Justice Ginsburg’s explanation in the CLS case, “Our decisions have declined to distinguish between status and conduct…” (firstamendmentcenter.org).

You can view the letter sent by Boutrous here.

Let’s keep our ears open and our fingers crossed.

Progress: an almost editorial

2010-01-11T14:59:00.000-08:00

Last year, about 4 months after prop. 8 was passed, I had the opportunity to attend California’s LGBTQIA conference in Santa Barbara. Coming from Texas, it was the first time I had ever experienced not only a gay-friendly atmosphere, but one made up of people who truly believed in their validity as American citizens and recognized the indisputable necessity of the fight for their rights. I was revitalized breathing in that kind of certainty of self, soaking in all of that positive LGBT energy. Nevertheless, a darker note hung in the air.

I realized how much of an impact the Prop. 8 battle had on the conference goers when a vibrant discussion abruptly turned silent after a group was asked to forfeit a leader to oversee the communication between schools and spur on the fight for the next year. Everyone was still so beaten, so exhausted by Prop. 8 that not one of these highly capable people came forward, at first. Spurred on by the wonderful shock of that atmosphere, I reached out to the group and told them how vital their fight here in California was to the rest of the country. I told them how it never even occurred to me that something like that conference would be possible, because it isn’t where I come from. I did my best to convey my message that despite the loss, the LGBT movement here in California is celebrated throughout the country as one of the most energetic and motivated in the United States.

And now I tell you, Central Coast PFLAGers, keep striving, keep moving forward because every inch is a win. The fight for LGBT rights worldwide has taken great strides toward progress, and I truly believe that our fight here has helped those battles to be won.

California, Oct. 2009 -

Governor Schwarzenegger signed three LGBT rights bills into law. 1. Proclamation that May 22 every year is Harvey Milk Day. 2. Clarification that California family law will recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed out of state prior to Nov. 5 2009. Also, out of state same-sex marriages after that date will carry all the same rights and responsibilities, without the official designation of marriage. 3. An expansion of access to funds for LGBT-specific domestic violence programs throughout the state.

Houston, Tx, Dec. 2009 -

Wait, Houston? Yes, Houston. Fiscal conservative city controller Annise Parker was elected mayor making Houston the largest city in the US to elect an openly-gay mayor. The Houston Chronicle gives credit to her long accomplished history in local politics and substantial grassroots network. She worked the election with finesse, gaining the endorsement of several groups, including liberals, progressives, LGBT groups, and Republican women.

According to The Advocate, some anti-gay groups attempted to distract and divide voters with flyers, but to their credit, Houstonians “rejected their tactics and voted for the most experienced and competent candidate…” Parker’s opponent in the election, attorney Gene Locke, ran his campaign honorably, and concentrated not on his opponent’s sexuality, but on both of their political platforms and capabilities.

It is rumored that Mayor Parker will run for Texas Governor, an office previously held by no other than George W. Bush himself. Needless to say, Mayor Parker and the voters of Houston have proven to the world that the US has the ability to engage in a political campaign free from ad hominem fallacies, or personal attacks. Let’s hope that this is but the first in a long line of respectable politics in the US.

Mexico City, Mexico, Dec. 2009 -

Mexico City becomes the first city in prevailingly Catholic Latin America to allow same-sex marriages. With a vote of 39-20, the city’s legislative assembly voted to revise the civil code and redefine marriage as the “free uniting of two people,” making gay-marriage legal. The assembly also passed a bill allowing The current mayor announced that he will not appeal the decisions.

According to CNN, this slight change in wording grants same-sex couples many rights they were previously denied with civil unions: same-sex couples can adopt, apply for bank loans, inherit wealth, and be included on each other's insurance policies.

Change is happening, PFLAGers. Even though it seems as though California has taken a temporary step back, the world moves forward. Let’s move with it.

The Quest for Biological Proof!

2009-12-16T12:30:00.000-08:00

I was told years ago about this little trick, except I was told the mirror of it. "You know you're a lesbian if your ring finger is longer than your pointer finger." Of course, immediately, I slapped my fingers together and looked for some kind of biological proof that what I knew was true was, well, true. It's as if I didn't actually believe that what I felt was natural, but was some twisted way my subconscious mind was trying to get some attention, like those people who dance at street intersections dressed as a chicken with an iPod for three bucks an hour.

I spent a good chunk of time after learning about this comparing my hands to my friends' hands, my family's hands, clients, strangers... always with the same result, my gap was HUGE! My pointer fingers are freakishly short. They fall almost at the same level as my pinky. Of course, that has to be one of my defining physical traits. That and the strange red dot on my hand. Most people I compared myself to, gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, asexual... had even fingers. So, naturally, I thought to myself, "?!".

This just didn't make any sense, but I wanted it to. I wanted my fingers to act as indisputable physical proof to everyone, including myself, that my sense of sexuality is something biological. "You're only a lesbian because you hated your father/hate men/haven't had a good enough experience with a man/insert inane reason here." "No! I'm a lesbian because my pointer finger is short! Look!" (this is where I'd stuff my fingers in his face triumphantly) "Oh. My fault. I guess it isn't a choice after all." And then I'd saunter off satisfied.

Biologically, according to what I've learned, all this finger trick means is that a child was blasted with more testosterone than usual in the womb. Ah well, c'est la vie.

All of this was years ago. It was a different time, a different life. Now, I even question whether or not I'm a lesbian (mostly due to the ambiguity of my gender). I have accepted that I most likely have more testosterone in me that most women, but I know that isn't what made me who I am today. The truth is, I don't know why I am who I am. I stopped trying to answer "Why?" Now, I'm more involved with "How?" How am I going to make this life of mine work? How will I interact with my loved ones now? How can I make this world safer and more lovely?

I still notice hands and fingers. My brother's hands, for example, are much more even than mine, whereas my great straight friend from college, well, let's just say according to this picture, she's quite the petite blonde machismo.

KRIS (PFLAG) - Archbishop Desmond Tutu Video

2009-10-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

In our community, religion is often a sore subject. Much like women, religion is a prominent reason for the oppression of LGBTQ individuals, if not the main reason. But it can also act as a means of liberation. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, of the Episcopal church, speaks beautifully in this video of human rights and the injustices that the christian church as a whole has performed on LGBT people as a whole.

KRIS (PFLAG) - Coming Out Stories

2009-09-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

I know how important it is for us to understand that we are not alone, that there are countless others in our same situation, or, unfortunately, in a slightly more desperate one. Please, please, PLEASE, comment on this and post your own stories! I often feel isolated, and nothing picks me up better than knowing that somewhere out there is somebody who knows. To kick things off, here's one of my many coming out stories. I like to call it,

Hey Jess, What Does GenderQueer Mean Again?

For months on end, my wonderful patient girlfriend has explained the term to me again and again and again. It's as if I can't believe it's a real identity. She knew it applied to me a week after she met me. I didn't know for years and years and years. I'm sure that those who know me are tired of me saying, "I'm from Texas," and "Well, back at home, (insert horror story here)." Be warned, I'm doing it again.

See, in Houston, there is little to no discussion about LGBT issues, even in the gay district (Montrose in case you plan on visiting). If one was to ask a gay man walking along the strip of gay clubs along Pacific St., "Hey! What does the T-S mean in LGBTQQIAAT-S?," he'd think you were crazy and would warn the nearest bouncer that a mad person was following him. I was that person eight months ago.

I grew up thinking that transgender meant somebody who wanted to have a painful series of surgeries; I thought transgender was a noun. Now I know better. See, it describes

"one whose gender identity
does not match their sex at birth;
2. more generally, can describe one
whose existence challenges the idea that
gender exists only as two mutually exclusive categories
of male and female (the gender binary)" (Transgender Umbrella)

A gender spec-what? You've got to be kidding me, right? Right?
I blossomed anyway into the genderqueer, machismo, sensitive, wonderful transperson I am today without any outside help. Go Figure. But for a long, long time, I felt like something was wrong with me. In a small, heavily buried way, I still do.

I had little trouble coming out to my family as a lesbian. But being genderqueer is something entirely different. In my family, the gender binary is going strong. We are definitely a matriarchy, and my family, particularly my beloved aunt, loves everything feminine. Hyper feminine. Uber feminine, for all you youngsters out there. So when I, one of two female cousins and 7 males, decided to come out as genderqueer, well... It wasn't a bloodbath, but I think that's just because they didn't really believe me. How could you not feel female, but not male either? You've got to choose one! Are you a Butch lesbian? Or a Femme? Choose so we can get your birthday present accordingly! Diamonds or an RC Monster Truck. (I'd go for the monster truck, actually...)

The worst part is I didn't feel right. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I tried testosterone, but it just wasn't right. I tried skirts, and that really wasn't right. I slowly began to dress in ways that I felt comfortable, regardless of my family's comments. I knew something was changing in me, that I was just starting to embrace who I really was. And yet, the more comfortable I became, the more isolated I felt from everyone I love. I knew that being who I was meant that my family would suffer; at least, that's what I assumed.

Time passed, and I went through a dark phase. I kept away from the people I love and who love me because I felt like I was hurting them with my "decision" to stop hiding. I left the state for a summer, fell in love, learned some LGBT stuff, and came home filled with courage and resources to help my family understand who I was. Imagine my disappointment to discover that they had missed me, and wanted me back in their lives, no matter what! I found out that they loved me more than I ever knew, and that my gender identity didn't hurt them, but had helped them to become better people, more open, more accepting, less ignorant. Go figure. You mean I didn't have to be so alone all those years? I had a family?

Yes, it took time for them to really begin to understand what it is to be genderqueer; it took me about a year! I lived the life, but never knew who I am was a real identity. Again, I felt alone, isolated. I know better now.

Please, help others come to understand that they aren't alone. Help me to understand it better. There is still so much even I don't know. We need to share our coming out experiences so that we can find acceptance in each other. If you're a parent, tell us what you were thinking! I'd love to know what might go through a mother's mind. So many of us are terrified to open up because we think our parents will hate us. Tell us how we were wrong.

Kris

Barbara Adams (PFLAG Central Coast Chapter) - BLOGGING

2009-09-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

Barbara Adams - PFLAG Central Coast Chapter President here. Don't be shy ... PFLAG wants to hear what you have to say. We want your stories and any information you think we need to have. Make sure you jot down your name and what group you are associated with when typing. This will be another great way to communicate with each other and keep on top of everything happening on the Central Coast! I hope we hear from MANY out there!

Kris, from the office

2009-09-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hi there everybody,

This is Kris, from the Central Coast Chapter of PFLAG. I'm just sitting here in the office today twiddling my thumbs and trying to figure out better ways of reaching those of you who, like me, live and breathe on the internet. About ten minutes ago, I slapped my forehead and thought, BLOGS! Of course!

So here it is, my wonderful community members. A free blog for all of you to post your innermost thoughts and fears. Post joy, post sorrow, post something educational, post something crazy and zany. (Did she just say zany?) Yes, I did just say zany.

At the very least, you will have a one person audience, but really, if it's on the internet, it will be read.

I look forward to your words,

Kris